Because a) I like to make things up, b) I don’t know anything about their music, and c) in my clearly limited worldview they are the same person, I was going to combine John Hiatt and John Prine into one list. But then I realized that they are the kinds of cult artists who have rabid fans, and then I’d be fielding “They are not a thing alike!” comments all day. Which would give me a headache. So: separate lists.
Author: Joe
John Coltrane
When I was in high school, it was fashionable among some teenage boys to claim that Jim Morrison was God. (This was during one of the umpteenth Doors revivals.) But as far as I know, John Coltrane is the only musician who has an actual church named after him. Which seems appropriate—for my “Welcome to heaven” song (stop laughing), I’m going to ask them to skip the harps and just play the opening movement to “A Love Supreme.”
Joe Jackson
Joe Jackson started out sounding like Elvis Costello. Then he decided to sound like Louis Jordan, then Cole Porter, then any number of vaguely Latin-influenced jazz band leaders. Then I lost track, though at some point I believe he wrote a symphony. I guess the only person left to sound like was Mozart?
Joan Armatrading
Over the years, Joan Armatrading tried everything from pop-folkie to electro-pop-punky … and she still couldn’t buy a hit to save her life. So then she decided to screw it all and just sound like Sade.
Jimi Hendrix
Often when I run into acquaintances (my real friends know better), they think it’s funny to bust out with, “Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?” It’s not.
Jerry Lee Lewis
I can forgive the “marrying the underage cousin” thing—there’s a whole range of cultural norms outside of what any one of us might consider “proper.” (Shoot … one of my great-grandmothers married her brother-in-law, while another was the illegitimate daughter of an itinerant Italian railway worker. So much for traditional family values.) The hair, on the other hand—I just can’t with the hair.
Jelly Roll Morton
In my next life, I want to have a cool nickname like “Jelly Roll.” And with all respect to my Polish ancestors, I would also like a smoother-sounding last name. Peanut Butter Sadusky doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
Jefferson Airplane/Starship
Jefferson Airplane/Starship morphed from trippy psychedelic rock in the 60s to wispy folk rock in the 70s to peppy pop rock in the 80s. Not sure it that’s progress. “We Built This City” might be the worst song in the history of popular music, ever. Plus: Winner of “how many times we can rename our band?” contest.
Jefferson Airplane AllMusic page
Jeff Beck
Another one of those rock legend/guitar gods I feel like I should know more about, but don’t. Credit for naming one of his songs a bolero (whatever that is), because … well, “Beck’s Bolero” just sounds cool.
Jazz Broads
Believe it or not, “broad” is not a term I toss around very often. But I fully believe (because I like to make things up) that if you asked Anita O’Day or Peggy Lee to describe their musical style, they would say, “Me? I’m a jazz broad!” And if I’m wrong, I’m sure their ghosts will come down right away and set me straight. Jazz broads don’t play.
Playlist of the Day 