I mention a lot of people in these blog posts, so I thought it would be fun to see which personal tributes map to which musical ones.

Abbey Lincoln—Alphabetically first singer who is more interesting than ABBA extraordinaire

Abraham Lincoln—President who may have been one of Streisand’s earliest fans extraordinaire

Al—Former roommate extraordinaire

Al Green—Happiest person ever (R&B division, male) extraordinaire

Alice in Wonderland—Unlikely Tom Petty inspiration extraordinaire

Alison Stewart—MTV news jockey/my one degree of separation from many famous people extraordinaire

Alvin and the Chipmunks—Musical act with considerably less talent than Beethoven extraordinaire

Anthony Braxton—Intellectual saxophonist who gives me a headache extraordinaire

B Street Boys—Jonas Brothers knock-off band extraordinaire

Basie—Guy who sold me my bike extraordinaire

Beatles—Biggest group of all time extraordinaire

Bee Gees—Falsetto jive talkers extraordinaire

Beethoven—Composer with considerably more talent than Alvin and the Chipmunks extraordinaire

Ben Folds—Person who is not Ben Harper extraordinaire

Ben Harper—Person who is not Ben Folds extraordinaire

Berry Gordy, Jr.—Inaccurate superstar-groomer extraordinaire

Bessie Smith—Singer of superior version of “I Ain’t Got Nobody” extraordinaire

Betty Carter—My other all-time favorite (jazz vocal edition) extraordinaire

Big Joe Turner—Second-most badass “big” R&B singer from the 50s extraordinaire

Bill Evans—Person who is not Gil Evans extraordinaire

Bill Frisell—Person who is not Bill Laswell extraordinaire

Bill Haley—Weak cover version hitmaker extraordinaire

Billy Idol—Unlikely Joni Mitchell collaborator extraordinaire

Bing Crosby—Unlikely but ultimately awesome Bowie duet partner extraordinaire

Blondie—White group who made a fortune singing black styles extraordinaire

Blood, Sweat, and Tears—Vaguely annoying jazz/rock hitmakers extraordinaire

Bob Dylan—Most famous singer who can’t actually sing extraordinaire

Bobby/Robert—Former roommate/world traveler extraordinaire

Brits—Wacky genre-namers extraordinaire

Bruce Springsteen—Singer who was born to run in the USA extraordinaire

Bruce Willis—Person I would pay never to sing again extraordinaire

Burt Bacharach—Unlikely Elvis Costello duet partner extraordinaire

Campfire Girls—Girls Scouts knock-off extraordinaire

Carla Bley—My other all-time favorite (jazz instrumental edition) extraordinaire

Carmen—Ragtime-playing friend of Mark extraordinaire

Carmen Miranda—Real Latina performer whose career predates Celia Cruz’s extraordinaire

Cary Grant—High society rom-com star who never appeared in a picture with a character named Irene extraordinaire

Cassandra Wilson—Boundary-pushing jazz singer who has covered the Monkees extraordinaire

Cat Stevens—Mass of contradictions extraordinaire

Cedric—Longtime friend/uncle extraordinaire

Celine Dion—Person who listening to their music is the equivalent of penance extraordinaire

Cesaria Evora—Barefoot-performing Cape Verdean singer extraordinaire

Chaka Khan—Person I am a fan of by association extraordinaire

Charlie Haden—Reason I met my jazz buddy extraordinaire

Charlie Parker—Musician who is to Rhianna as Gil Scott-Heron is to Snoop Dogg extraordinaire

Chef—Isaac Hayes-voiced cartoon character extraordinaire

Chester Alan Arthur—Unlikely presidential namesake for budding bluesmen extraordinaire

Chiffons—People I would rather have lunch with than Sinead O’Connor extraordinaire

Chris—Friend of Max’s whose personality doesn’t match his physique extraordinaire

Chris—White-bread cousin/musical visionary extraordinaire

Chucho Valdes—Amazing jazz pianist who is a little old for me extraordinaire

Chuck—Longtime friend/amazing humanitarian extraordinaire

Cole Porter—Slick Tin Pan Alley songwriter who probably never imagined his songs would be covered in an African langauge extraordinaire

Crosby, Stills, & Nash—Singers who are less interesting combined than Neil Young is all by himself extraordinaire

Cousin Betty—Big green Pontiac-driving cousin extraordinaire

Dan Ackroyd—Extremely decidedly non-funky white person extraordinaire

Dave (Black)—Music-prognosticating junior roommate extraordinaire

Dave (Korean)—Amazing-girlfriend-having junior roommate extraordinaire

Daveon—Elder son/blog inspiration extraordinaire

Daves (Other)—Less-noteworthy senior roommates extraordinaire

David Bowie—Patron saint of ambisexuals extraordinaire

David Lee Roth—Singer of atrocious version of “I Ain’t Got Nobody” extraordinaire

Devil—Bad guy who got shafted by Robert Johnson extraordinaire

Diana Krall—Mrs. Elvis Costello extraordinaire

Diana Ross—Enormously popular singer with enormous ego and hair to match extraordinaire

Django Reinhardt—Person who proves Bobby/Robert is a much more cultured music junkie than I am extraordinaire

Djibril—Author of blog extraordinaire World Is Africa extraordinaire

Dolly Parton—Person I secretly think is awesome extraordinaire

Don McClean—Singer of longest #1 hit in history extraordinaire

Donny Hathaway—Singer of the only Christmas song I actually like (except for the funny one by the Waitresses) extraordinaire

Doors—Group that somehow had a reputation for being sexy even though their lead instrument was a carnival organ extraordinaire

Dr. John—Person who is not Leon Russell extraordinaire

Echo & the Bunnymen—Group that can thank Lori for me knowing about them extraordinaire

Edgar Winter—Other person who is not Leon Russell extraordinaire

Ella Fitzgerald—Singer to whom I prefer Sarah Vaughan extraordinaire

Elvis Costello—Person who has made some extremely strange musical and duet-partner choices extraordinaire

Elvis Presley—Nominally dead, peanut butter-and-banana-loving hitmaker extraordinaire

Emotions—Over-the-top disco singers extraordinaire

Eric Clapton—Guy I refuse to say anything snarky about extraordinaire

Fats Waller—Musician from era when being called “fat” was not an insult extraordinaire

Ferrante & Teicher—Throwback to the days when two guys in tuxes playing dueling pianos could have hits extraordinaire

Fifth Dimension—Black group who had hits covering songs by white people extraordinaire

Fr. Kowalewski—Freshman religion teacher extraordinaire

Frank Sinatra—Legend I just don’t “get” (male division) extraordinaire

Future Husband (name TBD)—Husband extraordinaire

George Harrison—My favorite Beatle by far extraordinaire

Gerald Ford—My grandmother’s favorite president extraordinaire

Gladys Knight—Happiest person ever (female, R&B division) extraordinaire

God—Provider of luxury cars (also: life, the universe, etc.) extraordinaire

Go Gos—Group I prefer to Jane’s Addiction extraordinaire

Gonzalo Rubalcaba—Pianist who takes on the personality of his co-performer extraordinaire

Guy I Met Online—Person I will hopefully have a second date with extraordinaire

Guy I Went to College With—Semiotics-studying, Talking Heads-loving, strange hairdo-having guy extraordinaire

Guys Who Wrote the Bible—Generally anonymous but extremely influential authors extraordinaire

Hopi—Tribe who accurately predicted the effect of listening to Philip Glass’s music extraordinaire

Horace Silver—Person my kids my want to emulate not that I am dropping any hints extraordinaire

Incredible Hulk—Superhero with anger issues extraordinaire

Jam—Group who sounds like their music should be sweet, but isn’t extraordinaire

James Taylor—Singer who should really stick to mellow folky stuff extraordinaire

Janis Joplin—Member #1 of the “live fast, die young” school (60s version) extraordinaire

Jay Leno—Person I don’t understand why people think he is funny extraordinaire

Jay-Z—Mr. Beyonce Knowles extraordinaire

Jeff Buckley—Person who took the concept of following in his father’s footsteps maybe a bit too far extraordinaire

Jerusalem—Friend who inadvertently reminded me that I’m age an age where “seniors moments” are probably going to be a regular thing extraordinaire

Jesus—Person who probably spends a lot of his time rolling his eyes at things done supposedly in his name extraordinaire

Jethro Tull—Flute-led non-heavy metal group extraordinaire

Jim—Longtime friend/uncle extraordinaire

Jim Morrison—Member #2 of the “live fast, die young” school (60s version) extraordinaire

Jimi Hendrix—Member #3 of the “live fast, die young” school (60s version) extraordinaire

Joan Baez—Neil Young-loving, diamond- and rust-promoting folk singer extraordinaire

Joan Collins—”Actress” unlikely to inspire a band name led by a straight person extraordinaire

Joe Jackson—Singer who imitated pretty much every other singer extraordinaire

John Coltrane—Highly spiritual, apparently unemotional saxophonist extraordinaire

John Cage—Person whose name appropriately reflects that listening to his music feels like being trapped extraordinaire

John Hiatt—Person I think is the same person as John Prine extraordinaire

John McLaughlin—Person who is part of the reason I hate fusion extraordinaire

John Prine—Person I think is the same person as John Hiatt extraordinaire

Jonas Brothers—Disney boy band extraordinaire

Jonathan Richman—Tied with Robyn Hitchcock for #1 cult artist of all time extraordinaire

Joni Mitchell—My all-time favorite extraordinaire

Joy Division—Other group that can thank Lori for me knowing about them extraordinaire

Judy Collins—Singer for whom I have an irrational dislike extraordinaire

Judy Garland—Gay icon and mother of gay icon extraordinaire

Julie Andrews—Person I secretly think is awesome extraordinaire

Julio Iglesias—Unlikely Willie Nelson duet partner extraordinaire

Keith Jarrett—Jazz singer who was quite the looker extraordinaire

King Crimson—Writers of very long songs extraordinaire

Kinks—Singers about a drag queen extraordinaire

Larry/Lawrence—Longtime friend/former roommate extraordinaire

Lawrence Welk—Unlikely code name for lesbians extraordinaire

Leigh—Longtime friend/aunt extraordinaire

Leonard Cohen—Singer who proves (along with Joni Mitchell and Neil Young) that although Canadians have a reputation for being cheerful, famous Canadian singers generally are not extraordinaire

Liberace—Flamboyant unlikely inspiration for a hip-hop album title extraordinaire

Linda—Zydeco-loving neighbor extraordinaire

Linda Ronstadt—Genre-hopping hitmaker extraordinaire

Lisa—Long-ago friend of Cape Verdean descent extraordinaire

Lori—Long-ago coworker and Chrissie Hynde lookalike extraordinaire

Lou Reed—Not happiest person ever extraordinaire

Louis Armstrong—Happiest person ever (jazz division, male) extraordinaire

Louis Jordan—Person I would have never heard of if it weren’t for Joe Jackson, even though he is more interesting musically than Joe Jackson, extraordinaire

Lyres—Boston-based, stage dive-inducing band extraordinaire

Madonna—Shape-shifting yet predictable hitmaker extraordinaire

Swami Satchidananda—Person who if they founded Mahavishnu Orchestra I would probably hate fusion less extraordinaire

Marcia—Jazz buddy extraordinaire

Marcy—Long-ago friend/metalhead extraordinaire

Maria—Older sister extraordinaire

Mariah Carey—Extremely popular/bland singer extraordinaire

Mark—Younger son/future Olympian extraordinaire

Mary Chapin Carpenter—Person I did not pay attention to while attending school together extraordinaire

Max—”Little brother”/uncle extraordinaire

MC Hammer—Very lage pant-wearing, short-term hip-pop star extraordinaire

Meat Group—Hilarious government attempt at cultural relevance extraordinaire

Michael B. Jordan—Person I am clearly destined to meet extraordinaire

Michael Jackson—Moonwalking, chimp-loving king of pop extraordinaire

Mick Jagger—Atrocious duet partner extraordinaire

Mickey—Person who is mind-blowingly fine extraordinaire

Miles Davis—Cyndi Lauper-loving trumpeter extraordinaire

Miracles—Group that has produced more enjoyable music in two minutes than Yes has in its entire career extraordinaire

Monkees—Unlikely jazz cover inspirations extraordinaire

Mozart—Inspiration for a movie whose basic message was, “It’s OK if you’re a jerk, as long as you’re extremely talented” extraordinaire

Mr. Bautista—High school chemistry teacher extraordinaire

Mr. Ryan—Homophobic neighbor extraordinaire

Muddy Waters—Best—and smartest—named bluesman extraordinaire

Mumbles—Hilarious bluesman alter ego name extraordinaire

My Family—Unlikely Senegalese music aficianados extraordinaire

My Great-Grandmothers—Family values rule-breakers extraordinaire

My Dad—Easy-listening lovin’ reason I’m here (male division) extraordinaire

My Mother—Reason I’m here (thanks, mom!) extraordinaire

My Older Sister’s Mother-in-Law—Second-coolest person I know of named Geri extraordinaire

My Polish Ancestors—Reason I’m here (Sadusky division) extraordinaire

My Sisters—REO Speedwagon-loving siblings extraordinaire

My Uncles—Brothers of my mother extraordinaire

Native Americans—People who might have a problem with the idea that a reservation is a safe place to live extraordinaire

Neneh Cherry—Person I would (at least temporarily) consider switching teams for extraordinaire

Neil Young—Crazy Canadian folkie who has had wild, unpredictable career (male division) extraordinaire

New Order—Third group that can thank Lori for me knowing about them extraordinaire

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan—Person who is not Ali Akbar Khan extraordinaire

Orchestra Baobab—One in long line of lesser-known groups whose ideas were stolen by someone who became a superstar extraordinaire

Ornette Coleman—Genius whose songs contain neither harmony nor melody extraordinaire

Pagliacci—Sadness-hiding clown extraordinaire

Paul McCartney—Most successful/least interesting solo Beatle extraordinaire

Percy Faith Orchestra—Reason God invented punk rock extraordinaire

Pete—Longest-time friend extraordinaire

Pete Seeger—Person who is not Bob Seger extraordinaire

Pharrell—Person who managed to have a hit in the 21st century with a happy song extraordinaire

Phil Collins—Decidedly non-funky white person extraordinaire

Philip Glass—Person who listening to his music makes it feel like my life is out of balance extraordinaire

Pointer Sisters—R&B group who somehow had hits covering Bruce Springsteen extraordinaire

Queen—Hilariously over-the-top hitmakers extraordinaire

Quentin Tarantino—Filmmaker equivalent of Lou Reed extraordinaire

Quin Peterson—Daveon’s first best friend in second grade extraordinaire

Quincy Jones—Vaguely annoying extremely long-lived super-producer extraordinaire

R. Kelly—R&B star/seemingly very strange person extraordinaire

Randy Newman—Non-short person extraordinaire

Ray—Longtime friend/uncle extraordinaire

Red Hot Organization—Well-meaning, generally poor music-producing organization extraordinaire

REO Speedwagon—Ridiculously named, peer-approved hitmakers extraordinaire

Replacements—Group whose “Alex Chilton” I know and like better than anything by Alex Chilton himself extraordinaire

Rhianna—Robot hitmaker extraordinaire

Richard—Longtime friend/uncle extraordinaire

Rick James—Funkiest Canadian ever extraordinaire

Ringo Starr—My mother’s favorite Beatle extraordinaire

Rod Stewart—Biggest fall-off in talent ever extraordinaire

Rolling Stones—Group who refuses to retire extraordinaire

Ron Carter—Uninspiring musical inspiration extraordinaire

RuPaul—Celebrity making drag safe for the masses extraordinaire

Ryan Coogler—Nonmusician who has a more interesting resume than the musician who almost shares his name extraordinaire

Sade—Artist whose music puts me to sleep extraordinaire

Sarah Vaughan—Jazz vocal legend I prefer over Ella extraordinaire

Sean Dougherty—Inappropriate song suggester extraordinaire

Shakespeare—Less-pretentious role model for Sting extraordinaire

Shawn Colvin—Generally unhappy singer-songwriter extraordinaire

Shirley Temple—”Good Ship Lollipop” singer and hardcore Republican extraordinaire

Spinners—Group for whom my sister wanted to be a back-up dancer extraordinaire

Staple Singers—Gospel group famous for making white people songs sound funky extraordinaire

Stephane Grappelli—Other person who proves Bobby/Robert is a much more cultured music junkie than I am extraordinaire

Style Council—Sell-out group I like better than the “important” group they came from extraordinaire

Sun Ra—Space alien/jazz band leader extraordinaire

Superman—Hero to youth and disco fans extraordinaire

Swami Satchidananda—Other person who if they founded Mahavishnu Orchestra I would probably hate fusion less extraordinaire

Taylor Swift—Ex-boyfriend-dissing hitmaker extraordinaire

Thelonious Monk—Guy who I think is cooler than “King of Cool” Miles Davis extraordinaire

They Might Be Giants—Quirky pop-making, list-worthy band extraordinaire

Tim—Long-ago, “What’s Love Got to Do With It?”-loving friend extraordinaire

Timmy—Former roommate extraordinaire

Tom—Freshman dormmate extraordinaire

Trombone Shorty—Bandleader who puts on amazing New Year’s Eve shows and has the same birthday as Daveon extraordinaire

Uncle Al—Hilarious, always-managing-to-appear-exactly-at-dinnertime uncle extraordinaire

Valerie Bertinelli—Pride of Claymont extraordinaire

Van Halen—Group I am practically related to extraordinaire

Vieux Farka Toure—Coolest-named person ever extraordinaire

Village People—Hilariously over-the-top gay disco group extraordinaire

Violent Femmes—Band with sexual-orientation-ambiguous name extraordinaire

Waylon Jennings—Non-Willie Nelson country outlaw extraordinaire

Wayne Shorter—Joni Mitchell go-to saxophonist extraordinaire

Weather Report—Strategically named jazz group extraordinaire

Whitney Houston—Extremely popular/bland singer extraordinaire

Who—Group who has had about a dozen “final tours” extraordinaire

Will Smith—Actor/rapper with very interesting parenting strategies extraordinaire

Willie Nelson—Non-Waylon Jennings country outlaw extraordinaire

Yma Sumac—Sun Ra’s space alien cousin extraordinaire

Yoko Ono—John Lennon’s space alien wife extraordinaire

Zakiya Hooker—Person with best first name, worst last name extraordinaire

ZZZs—Imaginary band no one listens to extraordinaire

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