In the early 70s, the Campfire Girls (kind of a Girl Scouts knock-off) had a commercial where they used “Light My Fire” as the theme song. I guess nobody told them that the song wasn’t exactly about toasting marshmallows—unless, you know, “toasting marshmallows” is a metaphor for something else.
Rock
Doobie Brothers
I guess when you have “doobie” right in your band name, it would make sense that your music gets mellower … and mellower … over time.
Dire Straits
How smart were Dire Straits? They wrote a song mocking MTV for allowing people with no musical talent to become famous—and then became superstars when the video for that same song became one of the most popular MTV offerings of all time. That’s pretty smart.
David Bowie
In the 70s, when he was all druggy and weird, David Bowie made one of the strangest—and coolest—duets of all time: a cover of “Little Drummer Boy” (?) with Bing Crosby (!). In the 80s, when he was all safe and pop, he recorded one of the most atrocious duets of all time: a cover of “Dancing in the Streets” with Mick Jagger. Three guesses which version of Bowie gets the most entries on this list.
Crosby, Stills, & Nash
Neil Young gets an honorable mention here—once in a while he tagged along and turned them into CSN&Y. (Don’t worry—he also gets his own, much more interesting list). Not much to say about the other three—I think one (Nash, maybe?) hung out with Joni Mitchell for awhile in the 60s. And one of them must have hung out with Judy Collins, because I read somewhere that she’s the Judy Blue Eyes in the title.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
El Cerrito in the house! That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe that explains why CCR holds the record for the most #2 hits (six, I think) without ever hitting #1. No respect for El Cerrito.
Clash
How come when white Brits incorporate reggae into rock/punk/whatever, it sounds natural and works—but when white Americans try to do so, it sounds like … white people trying to do reggae (I’m looking at you, Blondie).
P.S. Same goes for rap.
Chuck Berry
The fact that Chuck Berry’s only #1 hit was 1972’s “My Ding-a-Ling” tells you pretty much everything you need to know about race and the music industry in the 50s and early 60s. You’ll notice that “My Ding-a-Ling” doesn’t make the list.
Cars
My high school chemistry teacher was a dumpy little guy who had a smokin’ hot blonde wife. The Cars’s Ric Ocasek looks like something you would find on the discount rack of a Halloween superstore, and he’s been married to a supermodel for years. Further proof that I shouldn’t give up my dream of getting hitched one day to a professional athlete.
Carl Perkins
Say the name “Carl Perkins,” and anyone (OK, anyone over a certain age) will say “Blue Suede Shoes.” Personally, if it were me, I’d rather be known for “Put Your Cat Clothes On.” I don’t even know what that means.
Playlist of the Day 