I can forgive the “marrying the underage cousin” thing—there’s a whole range of cultural norms outside of what any one of us might consider “proper.” (Shoot … one of my great-grandmothers married her brother-in-law, while another was the illegitimate daughter of an itinerant Italian railway worker. So much for traditional family values.) The hair, on the other hand—I just can’t with the hair.
Month: February 2015
Jelly Roll Morton
In my next life, I want to have a cool nickname like “Jelly Roll.” And with all respect to my Polish ancestors, I would also like a smoother-sounding last name. Peanut Butter Sadusky doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
Jefferson Airplane/Starship
Jefferson Airplane/Starship morphed from trippy psychedelic rock in the 60s to wispy folk rock in the 70s to peppy pop rock in the 80s. Not sure it that’s progress. “We Built This City” might be the worst song in the history of popular music, ever. Plus: Winner of “how many times we can rename our band?” contest.
Jefferson Airplane AllMusic page
Jeff Beck
Another one of those rock legend/guitar gods I feel like I should know more about, but don’t. Credit for naming one of his songs a bolero (whatever that is), because … well, “Beck’s Bolero” just sounds cool.
Jazz Broads
Believe it or not, “broad” is not a term I toss around very often. But I fully believe (because I like to make things up) that if you asked Anita O’Day or Peggy Lee to describe their musical style, they would say, “Me? I’m a jazz broad!” And if I’m wrong, I’m sure their ghosts will come down right away and set me straight. Jazz broads don’t play.
Jay-Z
Not a fan. When one of your themes is, “My father left when I was 12, so you can’t blame me for becoming a drug dealer …” Look: Between the two of them, my kids lived in a total of 11 homes by the time the oldest was seven. They have never met—or even know who are—their biological parents. And neither, last time I checked, had yet to commit a misdemeanor, let alone a felony. Just saying.
Janis Joplin
I hope that when Janis Joplin went to blooz heaven, she got her Mercedes-Benz. And if God is in the business of handing out cars, I’d like an Audi Q5, please. Blue.
Janet Jackson
When I lived with Al and Timmy in Daly City, I used to blast Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 so loud that Al said he could hear it on his way home from work from the bottom of the hill. We lived at the top. It was a big hill.
James Taylor
James Taylor is the epitome of the “sensitive white guy” school of rock. Also known as the “music I would happily never listen to for the rest of my life, ever” school of rock. (Bonus points for having Joni Mitchell sing backup on “You’ve Got a Friend,” because, you know … Joni Mitchell.)
James Brown
How cool is my son Daveon? When he was about 10, he got a gift certificate to a local record shop (remember those?) as a birthday present. The very first thing he picked out was James Brown’s 20 AllTime Greatest Hits! That’s how cool he is.