I often wonder when R&B legends like Solomon Burke hear decidedly non-funky white people like Phil Collins or Dan Ackroyd (?) covering their songs, do they think, “How cute. That decidedly non-funky white person is trying to sing my song,” or do they think, “If it weren’t for the royalty checks, I’d rip that [politically incorrect term for a white person]’s vocal cords out”? Just curious.
R&B/Soul
Ruth Brown
You know what would have been fun? Growing up when mambo was a thing. Can we bring that back? And while we’re at it, can we bring back singers who sound like Ruth Brown? Thanks.
Quiet Storm Divas
The reigning queens of 90s quiet storm (anyone remember when that was a thing?) present a study in contrasts. On the one hand, I actually really like Anita Baker, although more than one person has pointed out that it often sounds like she is singing with a mouth full of pebbles. On the other hand … I once read a review of Sade’s album Stronger Than Pride that read, in its entirety: “… and faster than Sominex*.” I couldn’t agree more.
*For you youngsters out there: Sominex is what we used to help us fall asleep before they invented melatonin.
LaVern Baker
If someone told me that the only way I could ever hear LaVern Baker’s “Saved” again was to actually become saved, I’d … well, I’d need to think about it. On the one hand, it would be hard to give up boys. On the other, especially when you consider my luck with boys, LaVern starts to look pretty good.
King Curtis
Every time I see the name King Curtis, it makes me think of prog rock band King Crimson. That’s about all they have in common. For one, you could probably play King Curtis’s entire discography in less time than it takes to play one King Crimson song. For two, I actually like King Curtis.
Gil Scott-Heron
You know the whole Charlie Parker/Rhianna thing? Same with Gil Scott-Heron and … well, pretty much any rapper who came up after about 1995.
Eighties Funk
By the time the 80s morphed into the 90s, the hard “thump” of funk had given way to the smoother “bip-bap” of hip-hop. This is a tribute to the last great group of funksters, who kept things interesting by adding plenty of new wave synthy weirdness. It was fun while it lasted …
Donny Hathaway
How much do I love Donny Hathaway? I even love his Christmas song—which, if you know how I feel about holiday music, is a very big deal. And yes, I’m including it. It’s December, so sue me.
Big Mama Thornton
No offense to my fellow dudes, but if Big Mama Thornton took on Big Joe Turner, I’d put my money on Wille Mae every time.